(Not under a cut because most of my watchers are lazybutts and will scroll past things that are under a cut. Lulz.)

Despite all the obstacles that have tried to prevent me from doing so, there is one thing above all else that makes me want to keep writing and drawing: feedback from the fans. Even if it’s just a one-line comment or an “update soon!”, those few little words keep me going when I feel like giving up. Knowing that someone has taken joy from something I’ve created, even if just for a moment, even if they’re just going to close the window and move on and read something else, it feels good that I can give that to another person.

Usually when I get negative comments, I spend a few moments quivering with anger and then get over it. I figure it’s not worth getting upset over since it’s just one comment out of many, and most of them are positive anyway…right?

Well, yes. But sometimes I get comments that make me want to piss acid all over you face while I vomit botulism on your grandma.

Such an expression of anger might sound extreme (and it probably is), but what on earth is an author to do you do when you receive comments like, “This is a good story, but I don’t think I can read it when you get to the slash.” Or, “This is a good story but I wish you would hurry up and write the slash!”

There are a few mechanisms of ignorance at work here, which I am hoping to dispel, or at least draw some attention to.

The first should be glaringly obvious: homophobia. Despite what many people probably assume, I’ve noticed that homophobia is endemic in the Potter fandom. Perhaps this is because it has a relatively “mainstream” fan base, and the fact that it is so prominent means that it often serves as an introduction to fanfic for those who haven’t seen it before. And let’s face it: if you haven’t heard of fanfic before, the fact that people write fan stories about two male characters (perhaps characters that you don’t even particularly like) will probably come as a shock. I’m not saying that all newly-initiated fanficcers have this kind of reaction, but for many—especially those who have never heard of anything but heterosexual pairings—there is a definite “eew” factor when they discover slash fiction.

In a way, I think fanfiction can play an important role in opening the eyes and minds of those who revile same-sex relationships. After all, perhaps if you’re someone who discovers that they really like the Remus/Sirius pairing, for example, you’d be more likely to reconsider your negative position on same-sex marriages. This can be a positive thing in that fandom can at least “educate” the uninitiated about the wide range of human sexualities, and in some cases bring them to acceptance.

Other times, however, I have to wonder what people are smoking while they attempt to read fic.

I basically write two things: slash, and horror. It is important to note that not all of my “slash” pairings technically involve same-sex relationships, but the majority of them do. I advertise myself as a slash/horror author, and all related warnings on my art and writings say so. And because most of my work is rated M/R—which is blocked by most sites unless you expressly search for it—you would literally have to be pounding the keyboard like Helen Keller to wind up there by accident.

So let’s be honest here: You were probably looking for M-rated material anyway when you stumbled upon my work.

It should not be a surprise to you then—unless you have been living under a rock or have never read fic before—that there will be slash included in your search. Assuming that you have read fic before, which is probably true since this reviewer had to be familiar with the M-rating search filter, I’m sure they were familiar with the concept of “slash”.

So why, then, when a fic is clearly labeled as containing slash at some point, would a reader inform me that they cannot read my story as soon as the “actual” slash begins? Do they think I’m threatened? That I will be so afraid of losing their precious readership as to change the entire plot of the fic?

Something about the comment bothered me for weeks and I couldn’t put my finger on it; something smacking of moral grandstanding and self-importance that just made my blood boil in ways I couldn’t describe until now. But what this reader was essentially saying to me was “My readership is more important than your ideas as a writer. And since that idea involves homosexuality, which I personally am against, you should change your ideas to suit me.” And by saying they will stop reading because there is slash, there is also the added underlying implication of “I would probably continue reading if it were a heterosexual relationship instead.”

I trust that I don’t have to go on a diatribe about why homophobia upsets me and why I think it’s wrong, but the logic of such people continues to confound me. Never mind the ridiculousness of homophobia in real society—which I would probably harp on all day given the opportunity—but people are actually getting upset about the perceived sexual identities of fictional characters.

In order to fic to exist at all, one must acknowledge the fluidity of character development. Because it is fiction, one can make a character do almost anything, regardless of how that character is perceived in canon, because fiction is fluid; it all has to do with reader interpretation, which varies so widely that, well… just look at the array of archetypes within the fanfic community: Light!Harry vs. Dark!Harry, a loving and supportive Dumbledore vs. a cunning and manipulative one. Harry who loves Ginny vs. Harry who was most definitely slipped a concentrated dose of love potion, etc.

These interpretations of characters in fic rarely have anything to do with the author’s intended perception, and instead rely on the reader’s interpretation (or imaginative invention) of characters’ actions throughout (and beyond) canon.

So why is it that a reader who has no trouble with an author who uses their creative license to make Harry an alternate persona named Skyye Raevyn who is a dragon animagus, has such a problem with another author using their creative license to explore his sexuality?

Now that I’ve made you sprain your eyes (and probably your brain) reading all of that, let us return to the second comment: “I wish you would hurry and get to the slash.”

This reader, at least, isn’t disguising their intentions. Only by “slash” they mean “make them have sex for my amusement.” And while there are more problems with this dealing with objectification and domination of others’ sexualities than you can shake a stick at, there are few of them I can discuss without sounding like a hypocrite, and I will openly admit that.

tl;dr, it is just as wrong to objectify and over-sexualize men as it is women, and it’s wrong to downplay human relationships or eliminate them from a sexual encounter.

That being said, I’m not “hurrying” to get to the “real slash” because—surprise here—but my work is not about sex. My work is about people, the emotions they feel, and the relationships between them. If you are looking for “just sex,” there are plenty of people who write (some very good!) smut, and many fics are clearly labeled PWP.

I can’t help but be insulted as an artist when someone asks me to cut to the slash because, to me, it is as if you as brushing the rest of my work aside, telling me that all of it is unimportant to you because it doesn’t contain enough sex, or that my work isn’t good unless it contains sex. And while that may not be the readers’ intention in posting comments like these, it saddens me that they cannot examine their own motivations deeply enough to realize how an author might react to such a comment.

Before I end, I do want to say that most of the feedback I get is not like this. Most of it is profoundly positive and open-minded. Thankfully it is a rare occurrence that I have to deal with comments like these, but the fact that they exist at all means that there is still a problem that needs to be addressed, and I am not satisfied with bigotry and ignorance being “almost” gone. So long as you are judging, objectifying or marginalizing some group of people, it is still a problem, and I do not believe that we have a free pass to ignore such things just because fandom is “fantasy”. If we bring bigotry even into our realms of fantasy, then what does that say about us as a society?

I realize that there are probably holes in my logic, things I have failed to explain and statements I probably should have expounded upon. I may do so at some point in time, but for it’s probably best to treat this as me venting to myself. Despite all of this, I really do appreciate it when people take the time to give me feedback, even if it is to tell me something they don’t like. The fact that you have put yourself out there to tell me what you think means a great deal regardless.

With that, I want to leave you this: Dude, I Love Your Fanfic!

I think it’s something everyone—especially those of us who write fic—should read.